A FELT Monologue
*WHY SOME SPOUSES CHEAT SEXUALLY*
I have been asked many questions relating to morality and spirituality especially when I am speaking on social harmony.
In this particular seminar, once again I was asked to express an opinion and comment on why spouses cheat in their marriage. The young ladies especially and specifically wanted to know why married men cheat on their wives no matter the prettiness and serviceability of their wives.
In my various interactives and especially in my work of ministry, I have found many reasons why both married men and married women cheat.
I have also gathered that cheating in marriage is not just a personal decision and a choice, but it is a spiritual matter as well. And most often, it is genetically disposed to clans, tribes and people in a family with the spirit of promiscuity, fornication and adultery.
To know more on why this behavior, one has to also check out the mannerisms, characteristics and traits of the background of the spouses in the family and their relatives to establish routines, tendencies and linkages.
There may be other strange reasons but generally, it is believed that certain husbands cheat on their wives along these reasons: 1. They have no fear of God, 2. They succumb to the advances, induction and covetousness of cunning and enticing beautiful women, 3. They lack Godly knowledge, wisdom and understanding, 4. They have weak and/or dead conscience, and often lack good counsel from astute and right associations, 5. They do not build binding and interactive relationships and friendships, 6. These husbands are not taught, as the boy-child, to get attracted to their spouses openingly, physically and emotionally, 7. The husbands and wives do not pray together, do not chat as friends, and do not have frequent sex, 8. They long lustfully or scheme to have sex with other women, 9. They have emotional instability issues as well as excessive appetite for sex, 10. They do not have erotic and amorous knowledge of the spouse and/or have lost the desire for sex with the spouse, 11. They do not enjoy the benefits of education, sex, serviceability, virtue and trade of the spouse, 12. They lack self-control, have greed, and are proud with wrong behaviors in love making and wrong perspective on marriage.
13. They can be seduced by women of weak-willed personality and weak spirit in their graces. 14. They are indiscipline and selfishness, 15. They believe ardently in traditional and cultural practices with their ancient ancestral norms. 16. They do not respect the spouse and the institution of marriage.
There are many similarities though. But the situation is not just common to married men. On the contrary, many married women have such matters or similar issues of infidelity
Many people hold strong opinions that women are mainly the causative reason why men cheat.
It is common knowledge that married women cheat as well. And that there are many reasons for this infidelity.
I have seriously engaged many married women for their viewpoints and found out that the reasons why most married women cheat on their spouses can be stated as follows:
1. Lack of communication, 2. Emotional abuse, 3. Physical abuse, 4. Lack of care, 5. Lack of respect for the woman, 6. Lack of appreciation, commendation and attention (eg. Oh baby you look beautiful),
6. Lack of Communication and Physical Touches,
7. Financial problems and difficulties,
8. No show and display of love,
9. Spiritual marriages, 10. High expectations in marriages, 11. In-law repulsion, 12. Spouse staying apart for longer periods
13. Societal pressure and living above one’s means,
14. Tribal and Racial sentiments and inclinations, 15. Psychopathic sexual adventures and so on.
Indeed, I remember that there were listed and additional, personal and more specific points and factors which raised more questions.
What will a wife do if she gets the opposite personality of all of the above mentioned from another man? Many argue that the decision will be subjective to mnay other conditions.
I hear that most married women who do not fear God and have tangible spiritual, moral and sexual challenges and disorders will give condemnable reasons for them to gladly justify why they moved away from their husbands to cheat with other men.
To be Cont’d
– Charles Kwamena Ackon